I couldn’t bear coming up with a whole post. I’m sobbing typing an addition to the tag I created some 36 hours before Pavel was so suddenly taken from due to heart failure. He had been fine, by all accounts. I noticed his chest rising and falling with more pronouncement than it should. However, he was fine otherwise. So I took him in, never expecting that within a few hours, I would be holding him as he drifted away.
For almost 12 years, and longer than any in the CNMCC he was my sunshine (as I often sang to him). He came to me not long after I lost Alex, very suddenly due to a Vet screwing up a tooth extraction (Alex was 6). Most of you know what I went through to keep these boys with me while I fought for SSDI the two years before moving to Colorado. Despite my brother wanting me to throw them on the street, despite not knowing if I’d have a place to live, despite it all. I fought for them because they were the only souls that never left me.
And they made it here with me.
Pavel talked to me all day long in the song of his people. He followed me everywhere, stalked me, went to sleep with me, was on the couch with me. He was my shadow. Losing him is
like losing no- Losing him cracked and took a piece of my heart that I will never get back. Coming home was another breath taken away.
For seven years, Gomez has been attached to Pavel’s hip. Literally. From the first day Gomez came home with me, he said LOVE ME and attached himself to Pavel as if Pavel was a jungle gym. Pavel looked at me like, what the actual fuck is happening. I shrugged my shoulders and that was that. They have been one, ever since. Not that Liam doesn’t care, but Liam would be happy as a one-cat household. Gomez, is grieving. And it breaks an already shattered heart.
He is the happiest, most fearless, most loving, doesn’t give a shit cat I’ve ever met. And it is so obvious in body language, actions and, just everything he does that he is miserable. And it is killing me. I keep trying to hold him and apologize. To tell him I’d do anything to fix Pavel, to bring him home and make it better. That I’m sorry but I couldn’t fix this. But he just walks away and lays there all day. Usually, in a room that I’m not in. And it is devastating.
I know I’m a meme ninja but I don’t even know how I found something so specifically perfect…
I know I haven’t been on twitter to thank everyone. I’ve been reading. Hell, I straight-up told three publishers on Edelweiss that while I rated the books I’d finished (and then insert three sentences of the absolute truth). I can only pray they’ll understand. If they don’t, nothing I can do. I do hope to have something posted tomorrow. I just couldn’t get my thoughts together to write anything meaningful. I liked all three books. It wouldn’t have been fair to them, to be honest. I will mention it in the fling post.
My point is, I have seen every single tweet, DM and I love you all. It is hell doing this alone, as in far as, no one is physically present when I sob in ways that I don’t even recognize the sounds coming out of me. I literally don’t even understand the noises I am making except that I know they are full of anguish. I return to work on Monday. My manager, thank God, understood. There was just no way. Monday will be hard enough.
But again, just know that I love and see you all. I know how much the boys mean to you the community and hell they are more popular than I am. The only comfort I think I had driving home without him was knowing once I said something on twitter, there would be many shocked and hurt bookish friends throughout the community.
I am redesigning, with the help of someone who shall rename nameless, for now (I will sing his praises and credit him through the roof when it is done and he’s been very patient), the front end of the site. For now, this post will be one of the four permanently featured on the front page. It will have a permanent place on that site, as well. I’m not sure what happens with the CNMCC. It doesn’t seem right if he isn’t apart of it. I guess that is up to Liam and Gomez, when Gomez is ready to figure it out. For now, I’ll lead it here. Love and purrs. Even from Liam
CNMCC and their Plebian
Council Of The Ninja Magic Conjuring Cats AKA CNMCC
Look. I get it. I know. The Council of the Ninja Magic Conjuring Cats, aka (CNMCC), are the mascots, two years running, now for both Summer Flings (2019 and 2020). They are front and center of both extravaganzas. Then there are the hundreds of posts they are featured in all up and down Novel Lives.
- First Line Friday- CNMCC Abuse
- Unboxing Unplugged “The Swap”
- All The Stars And Teeth Should Have Been Called All The Tropes And Tropes
- Verify Is Out, And It Has Me Tired
- And, in my most recent review, His And Hers
Please understand that this does not include the exposure on twitter and hundreds of other posts. Not to mention the innumerable featured images that they have been front and center throughout the start of this website. Next to, I don’t know BOOKS. THEY ARE NOVEL LIVES.
Enough Is Enough
In Honor Of Those That Sacrificed For So We May Go Where They Persisted…
Of course, that isn’t enough. We are not a smart, vibrant book community to them. We are all just plebeians. And they want their due in propping up our “cute” little hobby. A cute little hobby that they “allow” me to pursue. How do I know they were ready to demand this of me?
For one, as Becky can tell you, the other day, I barely woke up in time for our buddy read. How did I wake up? At some point in the night, I had thrown my blanket over my head. I woke up suffocating. Why on earth would I be suffocating at the hands of my blanket? I mean, this is not Infinity War.
I was suffocating because Liam had decided to lay on top of my face. Not my head but my face. I want to make this abundantly clear. Suffocating. It is now a thing. That was my first clue.
Second, this is my current safety status:
Liam gives no fuck bucks for my safety.
And so it has become quite clear that either this tag gets done or you might not ever hear from me again. Truth be told, if you don’t also complete this tag, I can’t guarantee your safety, either. I do not doubt that they have spies throughout our community. Stay vigilant.
CNMCC Honoree Book Tag Rules
The only rules are as following:
- Complete the tag or die. <help me>
- Link back to the CNMCC.
- They don’t even care if you link back to this post or site. I’m requesting that you link back to this post. Please?
- All photos should be correctly labeled
- Council of the Ninja Magic Conjuring Cats (CNMCC) for full group photos
- Individually Labeled as Liam, Gomez, and Pavel (or a combination thereof)
- Again. They don’t care about me. I’m a plebian. You do not have to link or credit each photo, but if you could give one credit when you link the post, I would greatly appreciate it. But I’m to be very clear that they don’t care, won’t care, and couldn’t care less, as long as THEY are correctly labeled, and THEY are correctly given credit.
- You won’t need to tag people at the end because everyone will do it or die. Their websites will fail. They will never get another ARC again. Reading slumps will be conjured, and misery will prevail. <save me>
I think they are under some grand delusion that when I said we are moving to the mountains in Colorado, this is what I meant. They don’t go outside, so dream away boys.
Liam: A Book That Gave You Resting Bitch Face
Other than books that I have DNF’d, I have only gone salty on five books. So, I’m going to narrow it down to one Young Adult and one Adult. Not that most of you don’t know this by now, but still. Plus, Liam’s original resting bitch face is in the choice for Young Adult.
*I always feel the need to clarify that title with the fact that it has nothing to do with tropes themselves. It is tropes in All the Stars and Teeth*
I Would Have LOVED The Guest List, By Lucey Foley, If, In The End, They Had Been Quarantined Together
A Book That Is Broken A Book That Broke You
Floppy ear, tongue hanging out. There is something al… shut up Susan. Pavel is now on guard duty.
Pavel made me change his category. It didn’t give him enough respect.
I wanted to choose one from the Summer Fling, and although they just came out, I read one back in January. And I’ve been screaming about the other since I read it. So neither should be much of a surprise.
New York Times Best Selling Author Rory Power’s Burn Our Bodies Down Releases July 7th, Best Start Preparing Now
Gomez: I Don’t Even Know, And He Doesn’t Even Care
While Gomez Approves (Or Doesn’t Have Any Fuck Bucks To Give About This Message, Liam And Pavel Are Judging)
And boy did that set me on a tear through this series. I am still in a series hangover. <sobs> How I miss these three crazy bitch queens. And I still wonder what the hell I read. But I don’t care, and it doesn’t matter because of the ride it was. Don’t worry the linked review is only for the first book. No spoilers. I just used this image to recognize the whole series.
Three Dark Crowns stands alone in this category.
There you have it. The Council of the Ninja Magic Conjuring Cats is hereby honored and bestowed with the knowledge of that we plebeians of the book community, recognize that we would be nowhere without them. And should we not complete this tag and propel them into a further celebrity, our lives will crash down around us. Everything will fail. Websites will crash. WordPress will, well, the CNMCC can’t even account for WordPress. ARCs will be further limited. Reading slumps will be neverending, and we are all doomed to our worst bookish nightmares.
On top of the above, the following are deemed complicit in needing to furthering the CNMCC cause and are being directly called out. THIS DOES NOT, IN ANY WAY, TAKE AWAY FROM ALL BOOK PLEBEIANS’ RESPONSIBILITY TO COMPLETE THIS TAG, FOLLOWING GUIDELINES ABOVE (their guidelines, not mine…).