October 20, 2020

Novel Lives

Book Publicity, Reviews, Author Interviews, and Discussion Posts by Susan Crosby

Council of the Ninja Magic Conjuring Cats Signed A Modeling Contract For Unplugged’s Adult July Unboxing (The Swap By Robyn Harding) Alcohol! Please!

Liam and I made a signed a (broke my bank) strict modeling contract regarding today's July Unplugged Unboxing. Pavel and Gomez were to feature with Liam there to supervise and provide for their needs. Quick, in and out session. Yeah. No. I may not be a cat but whatever extra lives I have are gone now.

July 2020 Adult Unplugged Subscription Box Featuring The Swap By Robyn Harding

Anyone who read my review of The Swap by Robyn Harding knows that I had NO SHAME in my obsession with it. From the title to the synopsis, you know what you are getting. But let’s be fair, it could easily say psychological thriller and with this topic, turn into Fiction Literary Chic-Lit (I’m looking at you Guest List). That meant I know what to expect, but I didn’t KNOW what to expect. Well, it turns out that not only didn’t I know what to expect, but I was so far out of my depth that sharks were circling.

When you have to call your mom, who was an Obstetrician and Gynecology nurse for two years, because… what even is a hostile vagina? Oh yeah, you are heading for a train wreck, and Robyn Harding is driving at 100 MPH.  Who the hell cares? Get me on that damn train now! I’m here for the crash!

Sleepless in Seattle


In fact, for all my use of memes? There was nothing. Not one meme covered it. So, after talking to my mom (who made me promise to call after I finished The Swap), and discussing how no OBGYN, let alone a male OBGYN should EVER, EVER say that to a woman?  I made my own damn meme.

Hostile Vagina


My point being, this book. The Swap by Robyn Harding is pure, juicy, delicious, brilliant, entertainment. And it will cause conversations for miles for days, weeks, hours, and years. It is a shame I don’t have anyone to read psychological thrillers with because this would have been brilliant. Just brilliant. I’m going to stop here because my review is above, and I want to unbox the Unplugged Adult July 2020 Subscription Box.


Notes And Disclaimers

Because, of course, there are.

  1. The July 2020 Adult Unplugged Book Box with Robyn Harding’s The Swap is my first attempt at an unboxing post.  Please be kind.
  2. In one of these videos, you will hear me, snap? No, loudly and sternly command something at Liam. Yes, it is an exercise in futility, but I had to try. If he throws up one more of something, he shouldn’t be eating. He is going to make himself sick. Plebian or not, that would be irresponsible of me.
  3. Clarification of #1. Although, this is my first video and my first Adult Box. I have ordered three Young Adult boxes in the past and even took pictures. I couldn’t get up the nerve to post them because I just know it’ll be a hot mess. They were, Owl Crate’s Scavenge the Stars Box, Beacon’s House of Dragons, and of course, All the Stars and Teeth (I don’t remember who from because I promptly sold it- not because of the company- if you don’t know that saga- my review is linked).
  4. I have this fantasy that once everything is organized and hung up on my walls, I’ll post THAT except that doesn’t seem to be happening -_-
  5. For some idiotic reason that I don’t understand, I decided to complicate matters by involving the Council of the Ninja Magic Counjring Cats. Never. Again. For those of you new to the CNMCC, I am their plebian, and they are Governor approved (see below).

Governor Polis Approved CNMCC


Like Herding Cats… Literally

I linked a great blogger who has “Like Herding Cats” as her blog title- go check her out. But that is the only reason it is linked. It has NOTHING to do with this post.

Per Section 1, Paragraph One, Liam was to be on set at all times and tending to the talent. This was so that it would NOT be like herding cats. It would be quick, fun, and painless. Go ahead, say it with me.

Michael Che


Yeah, I know. But look, I was vulnerable. I have never done one of these posts before. And as Becky said, “Who doesn’t love cats, especially the CNMCC.” So, stupid me trusted, of them, Liam, to not take advantage of my vulnerability. That was a grave mistake. I’m blaming Becky because she should have known better.

Negotiations. He did all the talking in the language of HIS people. It was like Inej signing her contract in Kerch, or Ravkan… whichever language it was she didn’t know. Plebian fails… again.

Things Didn’t Start… Badly

I mean, I would be stupid if I didn’t think Gomez would assume the props were just his, rather than mine for him to model with, right? Of course, because EVERYTHING belongs to Gomez.

It’s ok, though, because it’s cute watching him try to get into the exceptionally well packed and brimming full Unplugged Box, so I’m cool with it. Maybe this won’t be so bad, after all?


But even after that, Gomez was digging right in! Pavel didn’t miss his mark. Liam cued him right on time.

Pavel and Liam CNMCC July Unplugged Adult Unboxing


Call it giddy optimism, but things were going well. I was ready to breathe.

 


NeverNight Pint Glass

Gomez NeverNigth Pint Glas


A pint featuring NeverNight makes so much sense I could barely contain myself. If reading Jay Kristoff doesn’t make you want to drink a lot? You are reading wrong. I’m not sure; I would have picked “The books we love, they love us back.” It is a fantastic quote; don’t get me wrong. I know it is incredibly popular. But you know me. I have a dark side, and there are others I probably would have picked. However, Gomez and I DEFINITELY approve. Plus, this is my first piece of NeverNight themed accessories, so YAY!


Crescent City Candle

Admittedly, Gomez was on his own with this one. Of course, I don’t mean the candle was lit, or anything, GOD KNOW. Hell, if you have never seen my reasons against ever using the fireplace post… Plus you have to remember that of all the members of the CNMCC, Gomez is the sole reason:

Gomez


When I state that he is on his own, I only mean that I have never read Crescent City. I had to read the card that came with the Unplugged Box to find out what it was about and who wrote it. However, cats are susceptible to smell. So when Gomez took a deep whiff and didn’t go running to Liam, screaming about Labor laws and unions? I figured it must be safe. So, I took a good deep breath, and why yes, yes it is. If you zoom in, Gomez is looking right in on the pretty grey-blue with gold flecks. Additionally, from his ginormous head, you can see it is a pretty large candle (for those of you that CAN burn them). It has an initially strong floral fragrance, but then an underpinning of something, but I’m not sure what that grounds it quite a bit.


Half-Way Home

And I love this shoot. Gomez is doing a fantastic job. Pavel could be participating more, but it is cool. Pavel is Pavel. Sometimes he is all over things, and sometimes he is scared of his own shadow. This is new. So he wants Gomez, the fearless, toothless wonder of the world to take the lead, fair enough. Things are going way too well for me to complain. And that brings us to the mid-way point… one product and a group shot of what we have so far, which I am loving!


This is a mist shower steamer. As you can see, Gomez was so up into this steamer that between his love of water and disc, I wouldn’t be surprised if he just jumped on in it. It comes wrapped up in plastic, which I really appreciate because it won’t fall apart, or if it gets accidentally wet, I won’t lose out on it. Plus, it isn’t overly scented. Instead, it is just a lovely fresh, and clean scent. And who doesn’t need some self-care bath mist right now to steam away the stress?!


Unplugged July 2020 Adult Box Featuring The Swap By Robyn Harding Summary So Far

Around Gomez, you can see everything else we have looked at so far! There is the Nevernight Pint Glass, the Crescent City Candle, and of course, the mist shower steamer. All with Gomez and my stamp of approval. Maybe, since this is Unplugged’s Adult Box and there was wine (well mushrooms too but they can’t send THAT) involved in The Swap. Perhaps there could have been a mixer drink in the pint glass. Just a thought. Otherwise, very good so far.

Moving into act two, I’m feeling fantastic. All my hopes are up. Everyone is doing what they need to do, and I’m thinking, oh my God, look how the CNMCC is coming through for me. All up in my,  “LIAM LURVES ME AND HELPED ME,” feels.

He does not. He did not.


Act II

If you are observant, you will notice that this section is not titled after a component of Unplugged’s box. That is because, at the half-way point, they were scheduled, per Section 3, Paragraph 1 for their nap, eat, drink, and litter break. That seemed more than fair. I would never keep them from their necessities of cat life, health, and well-being. I told Liam it wasn’t even needed in the contract. But Liam is Liam.

Anyhow, some five hours of napping later. Apparently, I misunderstood what was meant by ” nap.” But nevermind. I know better. And the day was going so well. So I figured… shut-up plebian.


Once ready to go, I thought fantastic boys! Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, they would be prepared to go and get the rest done in a jiffy. To Gomez and Pavel (yes, even Pavel was ready to mix it up) credit, they were on fire! But there was a problem. And thy name be Liam. I don’t know what, specifically, his problem was, mind you. Maybe he started to get jealous of the attention they were getting. Or perhaps he wanted to cause hijinx. Probably, he was just Liam being Liam. I don’t know. But I have receipts. Thankfully, otherwise, I’m sure everyone would think I’m making this up to tell a funny cat story.

Nope. Liam woke up with some seriously hot pepper up his ass. Be damned if he was going to let us get anything done. AND LIAM IS THEIR AGENT. Yet there he was, and here we were. Even Pavel was like. Da fuq? Cause I have a job to do. Please let me do my damn job. Then you can run all over like a formula one race car. I don’t care. Just stop acting like you don’t know Jesus on Sunday, for like two seconds? Liam?

Sophia Golden Girls Picture It Me Giving A Fuck

At this point, you will want your volume on, and if you need to, and also the videos at full size.

Photo Bombing Books Are My Jam

It wasn’t just any photobomb, either. It was so fast, so out of nowhere that it knocked me clean over. Also, note all the mess on Pavel, and he has absolutely no clue.

 

Pavel, bless his heart, did not have a complete coronary and run for his life (usually under the empty cabinet to hide). So I figured, let’s try again. Take two on the Books are my jam plaque.

This goes even worst than the first time. Pavel yells at Liam. I yell at Liam. And as you will be able to tell from that wild, crazed look in Liam’s eyes.

Yoda is Salty

He does not care.


 

 

 

God, my voice sounds horrible! Probably because I never use it. Oh, and Mexican Gothic is there because I was going to see if they wanted to read it for Becky, but not after that mess. So that was a considerable delay. I had to take another break and have a long conversation about how Liam was breaking the contract HE negotiated. Not his talent. NO. They were doing amazingly. It was him. He was the problem. Then I had to bring Gomez back in because Pavel needed to go rest in the cabinet, and I had to make sure Liam didn’t throw up any of that squiggly paper stuff.


Books Are My Jam and Stephen King Book Mark With GOMEZ

Gomez was the trooper of the day. I mean, yes. You will see Pavel bring up the rear with the most anticipated part of Unplugged’s Adult July 2020 box, but Gomez really picked up the slack As you can probably guess, he’s been out cold for hours, now. Here, he took over after Liam’s spaz attack that sent Pavel into a tizzy. Ignoring is a miracle for Pavel, but twice? Aw, hell no. But Gomez did brilliantly, showing off the double-sided bookmark and heavy-duty plaque.

It has the metal, ridged piece usually reserved for picture frames, on the back for simple, even hanging. This is especially nice for the uncoordinated like me. It is important to note that it is heavy and sturdy enough for a variety of uses. For example, you could stand-it up slanted against the wall, or use it as decoration for a bookshelf, without having to nail it down (just leaning it would be fine). You could definitely get creative with it.

The bookmark is a deep royal purple flowing into dark purple and then black. One side says, “Speaking personally, you can have my gun, but you’ll take my book when you pry my cold, dead fingers off the binding.”- Stephen King

The other side says, “A short story is something different altogether- a short story is like a quick kiss in the dark from a stronger.” – Skeleton Crew


The Swap By Robyn Harding

Watch. Do you see this dumpster?

Hae you ever been such trash for a book that you would look at that and think, without a doubt, “Yep. Just throw me in there. I’m going on that ride.” That’s what I thought during The Swap. Robyn Harding made me want to go on that ride.

And so Pavel strutted his little turn on the catwalk and said, I’m doing the best part. Since mom loves this book, where they talk about hostile vaginas? And then he looked at Gomez like… Christ on a crouton, what does that even mean? Man, the boy in St. Louis, better come back because I don’t know how much more I can take. Then he stood up straight, laid down in his model glory, and said, in the song of his people, LET’S DO THIS!

 

 

And bless his heart, floppy ear, tongue sticking out and all, so he did. You can seek how enthralled he is with The Swap. I’m

sure he remembers my yelping, screaming, and hitting the floor as I read it. And of course, that conversation with his grandmother.

It is a beautiful final copy for discussion groups (lord knows The Swap was made for discussion groups- that MUST involve at least ONE male- an OBGYN, preferably) and a hand-written letter from the master of ceremonies, Robyn Harding, herself. She doesn’t address, of course, why she chose the L.A Kings for the hockey team of reference. But we both no why (Canuck fans are not over how we wrecked them as the 8th seed, and then went on to win the Cup). It’s cool. Vancouver dives so much; the Canucks could win a gold medal in the Olympics.


Last But Not Least Gomez Brought It All Home

With Liam safely out of reach and Pavel highlighting centerpiece of Unplugged’s Adult July 2020 box, let’s see all the contents together, in one piece. And there is only one member of the CNMCC with the patience, grace and, “sure whatever, throw things on me, lay me out, plop me up,” kind of attitude to handle this level of work. The stress, the number of props, not to mention all the placements, rearranging. He has to stay still and then take multiple shots. Look here, look there, lay straight, let me move that just this much.

Gomez is a pro, what can I say. He wasn’t going to let Liam ruin what his fans deserve- a complete and incredible look at all the pieces of what makes my first Adult box ever, and first Unplugged box a fabulous experience. I hope everyone enjoys this unboxing as much as I enjoyed all that is in it!


Let me know what you think! Did you like my first unboxing (be honest but be kind)… of course Liam didn’t help that a whole lot! LOL… What did you think of Unplugged’s Adult Box? How does it compare to other boxes (I don’t have much experience with them)? Let’s chat!

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